After supper, I was taken to Lieutenant Roberts tent to hear that I disobeyed orders, and I stole the Governor’s dog and I was going to get flogged in the morning. He also said get a good night sleep lad I thought it was stupid. Because it wasn’t the Governor’s it was Warruwi’s so me and Goodwin went to go to the tree where I was going to get flogged the next day.
Then, Lieutenant Roberts said build a triangle to Goodwin
But when I looked behind me I found Warruwi she came to exchange a baby dingo for Larka I said yes but Goodwin thought don’t get in more trouble. Then dawn came Lieutenant was ready to flog he told me any last words I said yes I had the baby dingo ready in my hands Yes I have a new animal its from the natives it will be easier to find food.
Hi,
I think your writing was good but I think that you could improve on a few things
But what was great about your writing is that you included good story in the first paragraph
You also did not include direct speech
But you could try and add a bit more full stops
I think that the structure is great, the story is also great I think you could improve on your punctuation and the spacing.
Hey Alex,
Great piece of writing. The story was easy to follow, and the vocabulary was good too. My only wish for you is to use more punctuation.
-Rose